Through mountain pass

And God
He has invalidated
Everything I’ve written
Over the past
Year and a half.

Everything
I struggled with
Was answered
At the start
That year and half ago.

Woman is blind
In arrogance
And self conceit
Except for the patience
Of God and Man.

I conclude in humility
And in Love.

These days
Full of confusion
So much confusion
Too much confusion

And I am quite ready
To throw in the towel

It’s funny how it works: all of it
In the odd nuances of life
The recognition of our fears
Quickly we assume that we have failed
And each day we are left to wonder:
Can I succeed?
Yet morning will always arrive unharmed
The melodrama that was once imagined
Is exposed as it truly is: a wakeful fear
But nothing more than that
For though fear may appear dark
It does not necessarily deem failure

I am floundering
Between faith and unfaith
Moments of despair
Intermixed
With memory of hope
Leaving me with
A weary heart

My words are running short
Of what I feel inside–
The churning churning churning
Uneasy storms will rise

But my choice has long been made
To move beyond the brink
I walk not for the storms I see
But faith–I cannot sink

The week had gone on long
With questions and delight
I ended up in silence
On a late, dark Friday night

Sleep had gone too far from me
And the clock ticked slowly by
And I realized I had fallen
Into a dear love most divine

And since, what can I say?
My nights go on as such
With a slowly ticking clock
And a heart burning with love

Sweet memory keeps me wakened
Cruel hope will stab my heart
Did I know there’s love like this?
Could I know my life’s great part?

Poof! I disappear
And now I go
To the nook I dream of
And wish was home

A dreamy castle
Of shutters and cobble
With lacy white curtains
And a flowery bower

My throne of choice
Is tucked deep in
A corner of dreams
And a haven of whims

There my heart is
And there it will be
For all length of time
While I have dreams

Some days I am stuck
In a mix of frustration
Anger and hurt
So that I am immobilized
And can do nothing
But wish for all the nonsense
To go far away

Too much today
Too much!
Too much!

It snows in rage
Enough!
Enough!

My heart it breaks
For love!
Oh love!

Stop this race
I’m done!
I’m done!

I feel such hurt
Reawakened
By such real words
Pointed
At those true feelings
Strong
And long felt

God, I beg you
Lord, I beg you
Father, I beg you

Bring me someone to love

An answer, Father, an answer
To calm my anxious heart
I beg and beg each evening
For your mercy to me impart

An action, Lord, to action!
I long for that great change
To at last see my desire
Fulfilled through your great name

I have discovered that the reason we hate Change so much is that we fear that there is no happiness in the future it will bring. But Change does not have the power to render us unhappy forever; while we may at first experience real unhappiness, I have learned that real joy does return, given time. The real issue is that we have forgotten Hope, which is the expectation of joy and peace that transcends all the workings of Change.

It we have no Hope, then our expectations are always frightful, and then all true happiness is lost forever.

And Hope will not disappoint. Do not expect gloom any longer, but trust that even in the worst Change can bring, there will be joy once again.

Even in earth’s darkest paths, along the throes of death, Christ brings the Hope of heaven, peace and joy forever. Believe that, and you will never be lost.

Amen.